The Valley of the Shadow of Death

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil...” ~Psalm 23:4

*

I'm trapped in a dark alley. Cold red bricks rise up around me on all four sides, like skyscrapers with no rooftops in sight. I'm sweating. There are galvanized metal trash cans down one side, their garbage overflowing. The stench of rotted meat fills the small area. There is a rusty, wrought-iron fire escape across from me. It is the only way out, if only I could reach it.

Thick heavy steel chains cut at my wrists and ankles as I struggle to break free. I am pinned to the wall. One is wrapped around nothing but my throat, it's weight bearing down on me like an ox bound to a plough.

My attackers are relentless. They have no faces. They have no gender. Their voices rasp in my ears and all around me, but they do not speak. They whisper and scream, but they have no mouths. They are but shadows.

They claw at me, tearing me apart from the inside out. Flames rise up in all directions from everywhere and nowhere, burning my skin, reflecting in my eyes. All I can do is growl.

I grit my teeth, and spit, “That's it!? That's all you've got!? Harder! Hit me harder!”

And I laugh. I laugh because there is nothing else I can do. I laugh because it hurts. I laugh because I love it! The pain. It brings out the best and the worst in me. It reminds me that I am ALIVE!

“C'mon! Harder! I'm still here! I'm still standing!”

And I laugh again because it hurts so good. I created these demons. They are within me. And I let them loose because they needed to be free.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I inhale them through my nostrils. I can feel them struggle as I push them back down where they belong, deep into my soul. I bow my head and slowly I begin to relax. I feel it begin to snow as they disappear. The weight of the chains melts away as I exhale. I am free. A phoenix risen from the ashes.

I open my eyes. The sun is shining down. The trash is gone and fresh winter snow covers the ground at me feet. I grab a hold of the rusty iron ladder and begin to climb. I cannot see the end in sight, but the the closer I get the warmer that sunshine feels upon my face.

I smile. It is going to be a good day.