Dear NETWORK,
This is me reaching out. It's no secret that I've been on the edge for a while now, and I haven't fallen in yet. But, I'm tired of holding on and I'm ready to jump. The water looks nice from here and a pack of cigarettes, a case of beer, an oz of weed, an eight-ball, and some strippers are starting to sound like the promises coming true....
Thank you for imparting this little bit of wisdom in me over the last year: I can't control the actions of other people, only the way that I react to them.
Everyday for over a year now I have taken the advice of strangers and prayed for God's will to be done, "because my will sucks". Well, if this is God's will for me after a year, then his will fucking sucks too! He can keep his fucking Porsche! (Read my last post.) If he dares to give me the keys again, I'll return it this time after a few weeks with one headlight broken, covered in mud, the engine overheating, exhaust hanging down shooting off sparks as I pull into the lot, convertible top ripped and bent beyond recognition, bucket leather seats missing replaced with old milk crates, and the interior smelling like blueberry-scented pine-tree air fresheners, burnt flesh and dirty Mexican pussy! (Don't ask, I won't remember.)
I can see the conversation now:
"Welcome back Jorge! How'd you like the ride?"
"That ride was fucking awesome God!"
"Glad you liked it, it's yours to keep. Do what you will with it."
"Naugh, I'm good. What the fuck would I want with a busted-ass-piece-of-shit car like that?!? That thing's fucking falling apart! I'm surprised it made it back here! Give it to that guy standing over there; he looks like he'd enjoy a good fixer-upper. I'll walk from here!"
Then, I'll flip God the bird as I head out to trudge the road of happy destiny to the nearest brothel.
"Fuck you and your mother-fucking will for me asshole!!!!"
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